This modern love? (Or, The Fear of Mistakes)

The popularity of lists on the Internet is quite apparent – every day there’ll be at least one Facebook share of articles from sites like Elite Daily or Thought Catalog that’ll go along the lines of … ’20 Things You Have To Do Before You’re 25′ or ’30 Things You Should Own When You’re 30′ or the worst/saddest one that people take more seriously… ’30 Signs You Should Marry Him’, ’30 Ways You Know He’s The One’, ’30 Traits Your Future Spouse Should Have’.

Since when do we need guidelines on who to fall in love with? Is there a perfect person running around out there who meets all these 20/30 points? Don’t imperfections and mistakes belong to the mystery that is life? Shouldn’t you already have your own criteria concerning the person you want to be with? And if you don’t…do you really want to adhere to a list or experience it on your own?

What has happened to love that we’re afraid of diving in unless it’s perfect? (or gets 20 ticks on that 20…. list)

Why are website-generated, non-personal lists popular anyway? Is it because we spend most of our time in front of computer screens (my work requires me to do so, for example, and I’m married to my job) that we lose out on living life that we’re supposed to experience?  Is it knowing that life is short and we’re so afraid of wasting time on mistakes that we need a checklist for every.single.thing from age achievements to love so we can refer to them to avoid failure and pain and heartbreak?

For me –

I know no one likes to go through sadness. The tears that come after a departure. Sleepless nights.

But eventually we’ll have to let go, and learn after each experience.

You should have your own list, a personal one, of how you want to live your life and love. You don’t need Elite Daily or Thought Catalog to tell you how your man should be. When to say yes or not to. Follow your heart. (and I know sometimes it just might be the hardest thing to do)

“Good relationships feel good, they feel right.” -Mrs Obama

Advertisement

Heart

” ‘Upadana dukkha,’ the Buddha told his disciples. ‘Desire is suffering.’ ”
-In the Shadow of the Banyan

One of those sentences you remember

“if you’re in your late twenties or thirties, and all your friends are a decade younger, like in their late teens or just pushing twenty, don’t you think that’s odd? And you claim you’re so mature, well i don’t think so.”

-conversations in Changkat, or somewhere, over lots of vino.

May Two-Oh-Thirteen

So…where do I start from where I left off a month ago? Even though I tell myself to just write, document my life, experiences and thoughts, I seem to only update this space once a month. Everything I think of just remains in my head, swimming and swirling around. Sometimes I miss the old Livejournal days when I could just let loose and put my personal thoughts in virtual black and white. And to imagine I did it for almost a decade – and to think that I met a few of my now-KL-friends because we started off following each other’s Friends-Only-Locked personal journals back then.

Since the last time I wrote something here on dreizig, it’s been a whirlwind journey (well when has it ever not be?). Flew to KK for Malaysia’s 13th General Election, back to KL, flew to Kuching a few days later for a client’s event (ended up with some rashes from mutant insects), came back to KL, and tomorrow morning I’m flying to KK, then Hong Kong and Macau with my mum (who landed in the country yesterday, I’m so happy!), then back to KK before flying to KL again. Then it’s KK again around the 19th for my grandma’s first anniversary. Oh, crazy, how you keep me on my toes.

And June is gonna be MAD crazy for work, I mean the craziness has already started (why does everyone have to have events at the same time? beats me!) but June…damnit. But hey I’m not complaining really, just exclaiming. I love what I’m doing, the rush, it’s so exhilarating, the excitement, all the possibilities. My job’s really not just a job, it’s my life, my passion. I’ve not taken a single MC leave for the past year -except the days I was admitted to the hospital…and I went back to the office as soon as I was released- no fever or flu can stop me. There’s no breakdown if you love it. I even feel bad that I’m going on a holiday tomorrow, that I have to leave work things behind, but I have to tell myself that it’s okay because I’m seeing my mum! And I have not seen her since I was back in Germany end of last November… this whole half-a-world-away distance thing gets me down all the time.

This is probably one of the most useless entries ever, it’s just me rambling and rambling. But my gameplan is to do a tiny bit of workstuff tonight, sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, pack, head to the airport wayyyy early and then chill out while waiting to board. So maybe a more insightful post will come out tomorrow.

Until then, here’s a picture of my legs, titled ‘Drunk Photography at Barsonic #3’.