Monthly Archives: January 2014

This modern love? (Or, The Fear of Mistakes)

The popularity of lists on the Internet is quite apparent – every day there’ll be at least one Facebook share of articles from sites like Elite Daily or Thought Catalog that’ll go along the lines of … ’20 Things You Have To Do Before You’re 25′ or ’30 Things You Should Own When You’re 30′ or the worst/saddest one that people take more seriously… ’30 Signs You Should Marry Him’, ’30 Ways You Know He’s The One’, ’30 Traits Your Future Spouse Should Have’.

Since when do we need guidelines on who to fall in love with? Is there a perfect person running around out there who meets all these 20/30 points? Don’t imperfections and mistakes belong to the mystery that is life? Shouldn’t you already have your own criteria concerning the person you want to be with? And if you don’t…do you really want to adhere to a list or experience it on your own?

What has happened to love that we’re afraid of diving in unless it’s perfect? (or gets 20 ticks on that 20…. list)

Why are website-generated, non-personal lists popular anyway? Is it because we spend most of our time in front of computer screens (my work requires me to do so, for example, and I’m married to my job) that we lose out on living life that we’re supposed to experience?  Is it knowing that life is short and we’re so afraid of wasting time on mistakes that we need a checklist for every.single.thing from age achievements to love so we can refer to them to avoid failure and pain and heartbreak?

For me –

I know no one likes to go through sadness. The tears that come after a departure. Sleepless nights.

But eventually we’ll have to let go, and learn after each experience.

You should have your own list, a personal one, of how you want to live your life and love. You don’t need Elite Daily or Thought Catalog to tell you how your man should be. When to say yes or not to. Follow your heart. (and I know sometimes it just might be the hardest thing to do)

“Good relationships feel good, they feel right.” -Mrs Obama


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